|Posted by Chaplain Teora, RAS, M.Min, D.Div. on April 24, 2013 at 7:05 PM||comments (0)|
An estimated one in every three women worldwide experiences violence, with rates reaching as high as 70 percent in some countries. Gender-based violence ranges from rape to domestic abuse and acid burnings to dowry deaths and so-called “honor killings.” The problem is not only worldwide, but is prevalent within our churches, and within our nation.
Like most Americans, I am horrified by this violence. In 2009, in a poll three in five American voters said that addressing global violence against women and girls should be one of the top priorities for our government.
A lifetime full of violence is not something that women sign up for. In the Middle East women are being beaten, sexually maimed for religious purposes. What is more horrific is that women from Islamic religions accept the sex-maim procedure for their daughters at an early age. This is child cruelty and abuse. Such practices are performed without anesthesia!
Our government has established laws, but this year President Obama signed a new law which will allow protections against gay, lesbian and transgender victims as well Native Americans, and undocumented immigrants in the reauthorized Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). As a non-profit organization, and as church leaders, we must take action against violence. Domestic violence is a cycle that is not easily overcome. The hatred, anger, control, and manipulation of these individuals is terrifying. How many more must endure the cruelty of abuse by the person whom they love? Many are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder; depression is on the rise nationwide, and many who are involved in the church or in ministry are cohorts of this crime.
The statistic below were quoted from “In-The-Desert.com”
Mojave, CA, Violent Crime, on a scale from 1 (low crime) to 10, is 6. Violent crime is composed of four offenses: murder and non-negligent manslaughter, forcible rape, robbery, and aggravated assault. The US average is 3.
Mojave, CA, Property Crime, on a scale from 1 (low) to 10, is 6. Property crime includes the offenses of burglary, larceny-theft, motor vehicle theft, and arson. The object of the theft-type offenses is the taking of money or property, but there is no force or threat of force against the victims. The US average is 3.
This is the town were my family and I reside and crimes of passion, or just plain abuse is still prevalent and increasing in our community. Help by making a difference in our community. We need shelters, homes, or a safe haven to place women and children who are in desperate need to escape the fists that are incorporating pain into their bodies.
|Posted by Breath of Shalom on May 22, 2012 at 9:10 PM||comments (0)|
VERBAL ABUSE CAN BRUISE YOU TOO!
THIS IS NOT LIMITED TO MEN. STATISTICS SHOW THAT MEN ARE ALSO BEING ABUSED.
Domestic Violence (Excerpt from my Spiritual Warfare book)
All forms of Domestic Abuse have one purpose: to gain and maintain control over the victim. Abusers use many tactics to exert power over their spouse or partner: dominance, humiliation, isolation, threats, intimidation, denial and blame.
Economic abuse is a form of abuse when one intimate partner has control over the other partner's acc...ess to economic resources. Economic abuse may involve preventing a spouse from resource acquisition, limiting the amount of resources to use by the victim, or by exploiting economic resources of the victim.
The motive behind preventing a spouse from acquiring resources is to diminish victim's capacity to support him/herself, thus forcing him/her to depend on the perpetrator financially, which includes preventing the victim from obtaining education, finding employment, maintaining or advancing their careers, and acquiring assets.
Domestic Violence includes a husband controlling the spiritual and intellectual growth or development of his wife. He denies her access to Christian Education, materials, training, and ability to answer the Call to ministry initiated by the Lord Jesus Christ.
His motive to possess (as property) the wife, to keep her isolated from spiritual authority, those who can elevate or educate her beyond his “Intimate Terrorism:” He wants her forever mentally and spiritually depended on him only. He doesn’t want her to serve anyone but himself, or have anything spiritual or intellectual that he doesn’t possess or is useful to him to reverse and manipulate her further with.
He is also intimidated by her spirituality and the spiritual mantle that she possesses.
I have encountered a lot of women subjected to this form of spiritual robbery, and the woman is otherwise in love with this man and believes he is just "over-protective," when in truth she is really a "Stockholm Syndrome" hostage.
BY: EARL LACY, APOSTLE
|Posted by Breath of Shalom on May 22, 2012 at 3:00 AM||comments (0)|
Sometimes the desire to be married makes one overlook the flaws and non-negotiable issues that one has prior to exchanging vows. Once you begin to live out your marriage those flaws and disagreements don't go away. They do not magically disappear. Statistics show the negative issues will magnify.
And no one wants to be lonely in a marriage. Love is often times not enough. One needs to be aware that what ever problems one had before the marriage can only get worse because you are basically saying "I will marry you despite of" ...giving an open oppurtunity for one partner to think they can get away with what was done while the couple was still dating. Marriage is sacred ordained by G-D meant to be for life. It takes compromise, honesty, empathy, loyalty but above all it takes 3 to make a marriage last. The Husband, Wife and YHVH.
Always putting G-D above it all.
The one's who do not know the Word laugh at such a statement. No marriage is picture perfect. The idea of rushing into something for the sake of "thinking" you are ready to be a spouse is absurd.
A man or a woman cannot complete you. Before you embarck on the most sacred of G-D's covenants...one must feel complete and secure without the help of another human being. It is up to you and G-D to find restoration and be healed of all the past trauma and feel whole again. NO MAN can fill in the gap that Yeshua can.
It is of the utmost importance that there be no rush to exchange vows. Instead one should take the time to consider, "Is this the right time and the right person"?
Does he/she fulfill you?
Is the Groom rushing into the "picture" perfect life?
The excitement builds up. Finally the days are getting closer for the seemingly happy couple to say "I do"
There are several warning signs that the Marriage can end up heading south. My advice would be to go to counseling to prepare you to be a Husband and a Wife. A Man needs to provide for his family and not dump it all on his counterpart. Women should be independent and able to support themselves but naturally the man is the head of the household. He is to take care of his wife financially and emotionally as well as sexually.
A wife is to support her Husband. she ought to be his backbone. Strife, jealousy, insecurity should be things that are learned to be resolved with proper therapy. YES! Even the healthiest couples can benefit from a little counseling.
I would recommend at least a few months of counseling before one decides to make a life long committment to one another.
50 % of marriages fail because both are so enthusiastic to take the plunge and overlook the negative qualities in eachother that can break even the most loving of relationships. The sad truth is men and women are not willing to stick it out and fight for their marriage...they walk away like cowards.
Buttom line is if you are having major issues before you get married chances are this issues will intensify.
It is better to wait. One needs to be whole through the infallible Word of God.
Let God be God in your life. Don't rush into something because you feel you need to be married or it seems like the right thing to do.
Marriage is difficult enough when two people are chosen by our Lord to be together.
Don't marry someone when you have extra baggage on you! It makes for one rancid cocktail of pain.
Have respect and dignity for youself. SEX WITHOUT BEING MARRIED IS A SIN. NO IF AND OR BUT'S ABOUT IT. IT IS CALLED FORNICATION AND ADULTARY AGAINST GOD. SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS THE ONLY SIN THAT CORRUPTS THE PHYSICAL BODY..NOT TO MENTION THE SOUL TIES YOU FORM WITH THAT PERSON WHICH ARE UNHOLY.
WAIT ON THE LORD. BE PATIENT. BEING SINGLE IS THE BEST TIME TO BECOME CLOSER TO YAHWEH.
Make sure you are 100% sure before you decide to live a lonely life with someone who does not value you or understand you when you were merely just dating.
In Conclusion do not stay in a relationship that is abusive.
DO NOT BE IMPULSIVE. DO YOUR BEST TO BE A GOOD PARTNER. WHEN YOU ARE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE, YOU WILL MAKE YOUR LOVED ONE HAPPY.
Make sure you don't end up like this. Pray and be sure this is the will of God not the whim of your flesh!
Mature and grow into the man/woman God has called you to be!
For those of you that say pre-marital sex is not important. You are wrong. G-D never intended sex outside of marriage and if you are having sex without being Married then you must repent.
|Posted by Breath of Shalom on February 17, 2012 at 6:30 PM||comments (0)|
A Red Flag in the dating World
By: Adelynn Eadaion
Dating should be fun at all ages don't let your day end up like this!
Here's some advice for all you single girls out there. A man who will talk about his relationship with another woman and reveal her flaws is the kind of man you do not want to date (If he's a friend and is just venting to you that is a bit different). You can be a friend but that's it.
Imagine if you guys don't work out all the things he will be able say about you! I dated a man once his name was James. I asked him about his ex-girlfriend and he had nothing negative to say obviously there were things that occurred that weren’t too good for them to have come to the conclusion to go their separate way but he was a Gentleman and it was honorable of him not to share that part with me. That's a pass to go ahead and move on forward romantically in the relationship.
I stopped going out with James because I was in love with my future Husband at that time. We had broken up and I was trying to forget him by going out with another man, don’t ever do that. Whether you are a girl or a guy, never go out with someone just to forget about someone else. That sort of behavior can end up getting a lot of people hurt
Women you have to know that the first thing a man notices about you is not the size of your heart. Even men who are Spiritual are still men.
As a Woman I am grateful to all you men who are able to communicate and listen. Patience is a powerful virtue to have. Remember Ladies. Do not let yourselves be taken over by all the what if's, pray and and meditate on it, then you'll be able to have a perfect date!
Be yourself. I admire the woman who is able to stay true to who she is.